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Writer's pictureMarc Stuart

Julius Purple: The Gladiator of Sales in the Corporate Colosseum

Updated: Jul 22

In the sprawling empire of modern corporate communication, there stood a formidable gladiator of sales, Julius Purple. His confidence and prowess in sealing deals were as legendary as the tales of ancient Rome's mightiest warriors. Julius, having conquered sales territories with the ferocity of a Roman gladiator, saw himself as the Spartacus of the sales domain. His latest battlefield? An interview with Marc Stuart Medium, a company as elusive in his memory as a gladiatorial bout lost in the sands of time.


The saga commenced with a digital scroll from Marc Stuart, akin to a summons to the grand Colosseum, inviting Julius for an interview. Julius, who had cast his job applications far and wide like a net over the Tiber, casually inquired about the role, akin to a gladiator nonchalantly questioning his next opponent. Marc, with the patience of a seasoned senator, clarified the position, setting the stage for a spectacle worthy of being chronicled by the likes of Livy or Plutarch.


Julius, a man whose schedule was as labyrinthine as the catacombs beneath Rome, proposed an interview time of 11:30 am. This time, however, was as impractical for Marc's colleague as a chariot race in the narrow streets of Pompeii, due to the tyranny of time zones. Marc, striving to find middle ground, offered two alternatives – the ides of 3 pm and the ominous 8:30 pm. Julius, with the boldness of a gladiator facing down a lion, declared, "I can’t do 8:30 pm, see you at 3 pm!"


But fate, as capricious as the Roman gods, had other plans. The 3 pm slot was vanquished, leaving Julius with the less desirable 8:30 pm appointment. Predictably, Julius missed this rendezvous, leading to a series of electronic missives where he expressed his displeasure with the drama and eloquence of Cicero.

"Your scheduling is as rigid as the laws of the Twelve Tables!" Julius thundered in his email, listing his past sales victories as if they were triumphs in the Colosseum. "You overlook a champion," he lamented, his words echoing with the pathos of Virgil's verses.


Marc, receiving these missives, was as bewildered as a spectator witnessing an unexpected twist in a gladiatorial match. He responded with the calm authority of Caesar, explaining that another candidate had been chosen. "Your correspondence has outnumbered that of all other contenders," Marc observed, his words a subtle chide to Julius's grandiose self-perception.

Yet Julius, undaunted, continued his barrage of emails. "I could have been your Hercules in the arena of commerce," he proclaimed, his fingers crafting words with the precision of a gladiator's swordplay. But his words were like shouts lost in the roar of the Colosseum, echoing into the annals of corporate history.


In this modern-day Colosseum, Marc Stuart, like an emperor overseeing the games, observed the unfolding spectacle with a discerning eye. As Julius's fate hung in the balance, Marc, with a metaphorical thumbs-down, signaled the end of Julius Purple's campaign in this arena.


Thus, the saga of Julius Purple, Gladiator of the Sales Arena, became a cautionary tale echoing through the corridors of corporate Rome. It served as a reminder that in the fierce battles of job hunting, one must not only wield the sword of skills effectively but also choose their battles wisely, lest they face the emperor's disapproval in the grand arena of opportunity.

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